For the purposes of this story I have changed the names of those involved to protect them from relentless mocking.

Friend – Tommy

Friend’s Girlfriend – Lisa

Me – Esteban Sexface (That’s Steven Sexface in Spanish.)

A few years back (’07 probably) I was hanging out at my friend Tommy’s place. He still lived with his parents, but they were always out of the house so his home became unofficial hangout for most of our friends. He had work later that day so the only ones there were Tommy, Lisa, and me. Lisa and I were sitting in his room, me on the bed her at the desk chair, watching TV while Tommy got ready for work. There wasn’t anything particularly good on so I settled for the new episodes of Flash Gordon they had playing. Tommy came in and crashed on the other side of the bed and said he was going to take a quick nap before work. Lisa came over and slid between him and I (It was a king-sized so there was plenty of room) and they spooned with their backs to me under the covers. I didn’t really care, I was above the covers, the bed was super comfy and the chair had a tendency to collapse suddenly and unexpectedly, so I just laid back and got lost in Flash. A few minutes pass by and I become aware of a…noise. It was a kind of quiet shuffling that I couldn’t identify at first. I look over at Tommy and Lisa and I see a subtle movement under the covers about waist-level that coincides with the shuffling noise. My brain slowly puts two and two together and I leap off the bed yelling, “Dude, what the fuck!?”

“I’m so sorry Esteban,” Lisa said as her face turns ten different shades of red. “It’s just Tommy gets so stressed out about work that I thought I’d just…you know…”

“And you couldn’t ask me to leave the room first?”

She shrugged, “Well I thought you wouldn’t notice. You didn’t last time.”

“Last time? When the fuck was this?”

“When we were watching *Walk the Line* and we were on the floor and you were on the bed. Yeah, that’s when I gave Tommy a BJ for the first time.”

After that I just threw my hands into the air and went home. I decided against watching Flash again.

I’m not sure if this story speaks for their level of ninja sex, or my complete obliviousness whenever television is involved.
This story was originally published here

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