Sadly I can’t take credit for this story myself, but it did happen to one of my best (f)riends and it is my absolute favorite story ever:

One night my friend Amy was throwing a party at her townhouse—a pretty big affair with two kegs out back. All her friends are there, including this one girl, Heather, who is usually the sweet, quiet type but is known to freak out when drunk. Anyway, late into the night, Heather pulls Amy upstairs (where all the bedrooms are) and into the bathroom…where she proceeds to lose her shit. She starts sobbing and hitting stuff and eventually rips Amy’s toilet paper holder off the wall and bangs her wrist with the (dull) end. Amy gets the holder out of her hands, and calms her down for a moment. Then she hears people yelling for her down stairs so she tells Heather to stay put while she goes and tells one of the other roommates where she is.

She goes down stairs, deals with business, comes back a minute later. Heather isn’t in the bathroom. Amy goes to her bedroom and finds Heather, buck naked, stretched out, curling a finger and saying “come to bed.”

(Note: Amy is straight but DTF, Heather is, as it would seem, bi-sexual)

So Amy just shrugs and goes for it. Commence an hour of overly fucked-up aggressive lesbian sex that started out hot but in which Amy was more and more freaked out and not-turned-on by. Apparently Heather, for all that she was a girl, had no idea how to finger; and Amy described it as having someone try to jam keys in her and start the engine….

Ya. So after a while Amy begs off to go to the bathroom. She goes in, turns the light on, sits down, does her business, wipes, glances…and sees BLOOD EVERYWHERE. She jumps up, runs to the bedroom and flicks on the light. Heather sits up and says “Hey baby…” Amy doesn’t say anything and just rips back the covers. Covering her white bed sheet are bloody handprints. Heather looks at her hands—covered in blood.

At this moment, Amy’s roommate barges in, “HEY GUYS! How’s everybody doooing?”

Amy screams and points at the bed. The roommate screams. Heather jumps up, grabs her clothes and BOLTS.

Rest of party, after seeing a naked bloody girl running from the house and hearing screams, comes pouring up the stairs and into Amy’s room.

Ensue hilarity, End.

This story was originally published here

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